Bivy my bivy, oh oh my bivy

Originally submitted at REI

Leave the heavy tent behind! With its waterproof, breathable design and meticulous details, the REI Minimalist Bivy sack is perfect for use in snow caves and as an ultralight shelter .

REI Minimalist Bivy Sack - Regular

Buy the larger one

By Alexinawe from Redding, CA on 5/31/2011

2out of 5

Pros: Lightweight, Packs Small, Easy To Setup
Cons: Too Cramped
Best Uses: Backpacking, Mountaineering, Hiking
Describe Yourself: Avid Adventurer
Was this a gift?: No

First of all, buy the larger one. I bought this online and the specs said it had an 82in length. I haven't measured it but when I lay down in it, I fill the bag.. I'm 69 inches tall and 145lbs with a 30 inch waist.. And there's no hood btw, so if you're in the rain, you have to fold over the hood (one "clasp" included, should have had at least two or three). Then when you do that, you're really fitting in snug and you don't have any room. I've found that if you encounter rain, the best thing to do is clasp the "hood" and then roll the bivy on it's side, that way rain won't come in and you can breathe through the vent. It's actually pretty comfortable.

There is some extra space on the sides of the bivy, maybe for your boots, a change of clothes for the morning, not much else. You're going to have to find something else for your bag/gear.

Waterproofing is good, didn't notice any leaks. About the condensation thing, if you lay like I do, mouth facing the bug vent, the moisture from your breath will escape. To the people saying that their bags are soaked.. I'd wager your sleeping bag is rated too low for your conditions (remember the bivy adds extra warmth too) and you are probably sweating in your sleep. Try picking up a "woobie" aka wet weather poncho liner from your local military store and use it while laying on top of your opened bag). You'll sleep much better in warmer weather and you can use it to line your sleeping bag in colder weather.

All in all the bivy is good for the money, but I would highly recommend going for the larger sack even if you're average or shorter height than me. The extra space/room will be worth it, believe me. if you have more money, invest in something better, but if you don't want to spend too much, get this one, it's worth it.

(legalese)

Saturday Night Laugh-track

I was watching the latest Dana Carvey SNL and I have to say it was pretty good. They brought out some of the old favorites like Church Lady and Wayne's World, while bringing back old cast members like Mike Meyers and John Lovitz. It was really good to see actual comedy on a show that has basically been living in a cesspool mostly devoid of comedy.

John Lovitz said it best in the opening song, the difference with every other cast and theirs was "acting." That's the problem with the current cast, they don't act. They pull what I call a "Tracy Morgan," they play themselves. Hardly anyone acts anymore, puts themselves into a role and loses themselves. That doesn't sound fair to the current cast. Even if they did act, it wouldn't be funny because the current cast isn't funny.

Sure, Seth Meyer is pretty good. Jason Sudekis has some pretty excellent moments and Andy Samberg can be funny if kept somewhat contained, but everyone else is pretty weak. If comedic talent was a measure and 1000 was the top, I'd rate this cast around 250. That's the bottom 25%. That means 3 in 4 jokes fail. That means 3 in 4 skits are not funny. That means 3 in 4 shows just plain suck. And that's not far fetched, it's a reality.

Transformers: Revenge of the Nerds

In the recent Michael Bay explosion, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, the boundaries of moving picture entertainment (and boredom) are pushed yet again.

The basic plot of the movie is this: Megatron's mentor known as The Fallen (voice: Todd), is exacting his revenge on the six primes who thwarted his plan to destroy the sun and obtain a vast amount of energon. To do this, Megatron (voice: Weaving) is brought back to life with a remaining piece of the Cube shard, and is in search of the machine and 'key' to harvest the energon. Meanwhile Sam (LaBeouf) is having psychotic breaks after coming into contact with another shard of the cube, and Mikaela (Fox) is pestering Sam to say the three words no guy ever wants to say.

The movie operates under the premise that two years after the events of the original movie, the audience would still want to follow Shia Labeouf. In actuality many went to catch more of the tatted canvas known as Megan Fox. To our satisfaction, and later dissatisfaction, there is more of her in the film.

Her first appearance is that of the trailer, sitting on a bike with a bit of side ass flesh through jean shorts. That's all well and fine, only it's spliced in the middle of a dialog and seems almost completely random, as if by mistake. Next we see her changing, from a leather motorcycle outfit into a short white dress in the middle of yet another conversation. As fan service, the audience gets a 0.3 second or so blast of camel toe through some white undergarments. Also, later in the film there is a David Hasselhoffian slow motion Baywatch boob bounce run scene. Many of her scenes are out of place and appear to be extra footage that was shot and had no place in the film, or were not needed. Most scenes came off as tasteless, and were only trumped by her increase in poorly executed lines. As my grandfather would say, "she's not fit for talkies."

I talked with a couple hard-core Transformers fans (and perpetually single guys) about what they thought of the film. "I can't believe what they did to Jetfire," one says in exclamation! One of the most loved characters from the series is now a SR-71 Blackbird and portrayed as an absent-minded old man upon being revived by a shard. He tells Sam and crew of the energon harvester and states that it's somewhere in the Middle East. Then, almost randomly, he teleports them all to Egypt. "Did they even explain the Space Bridge teleport?" says another Transfan. The movie in fact didn't, and the scenes are poorly meshed together.
The general consensus I gathered from the Transfans was that the movie was worth the watch, even on opening day at 1:30am (getting out around 4:00am), but was not much more than a revamped Transformers 1. A constant complaint was that the battles were often too short, but that the forest battle was the best, a scene that gave homage to the final battle in T1. My only gripe on the battles was that the movie should have shown the 'bots a little more prior to the fight scenes because the battles were gaggles of detail that I had nothing to 'lock on' to when they fought. Both bots, for me, meshed together and I couldn't follow it like I could with a martial arts/action film. That has to be the only drawback to CGI with extraordinary detail in HD.

The movie incorporated many sad attempts to diversify the franchise's fan base. Several setbacks ended up ruining whole scenes of the movie. One such inclusion was the pair of autobots where one was obviously ghetto black, and another street latino. The caricature was intended to bring humor but turned out to be offensive. One African American male I talked to referred to them as just plain "stupid." Another setback was the inclusion of Sam's paranoid conspiracy theorist college roommate, Leo Spitz (Rodriguez). The character was perhaps a replacement for Turturro's character, Agent Simmons, in the first film (who ends up appearing later anyways). Leo is an abomination to the film and appears as a sniveling spineless latino who annoys more than entertains. However none of that compares to Sam entering Robot Heaven and having a conversation with the dead primes...The large culmination of negatives is slightly overshadowed by moments of pure awesomeness held up with fantastic explosions, excellent CGI, bot on bot action, and stunning locations. Overall, my rating comes as a 7/10 and I would say this: Think of T:ROTF as Transformers 1 revisited, with bigger explosions, more fights, and worse acting.

Terminate Marketing

I just got back from the 12:01am showing of the new movie Terminator Salvation, and I have to say the movie was well done... That is not to say that there weren't moments of utter ridiculousness, which usually caught crowd laughter.

I won't full on review the movie since most of you haven't seen it, but I'll give some pointers on how not to be spoiled.

First off, let me say this. Do not see the trailers. None of them. They give away almost every good part of the movie, and watching it after a trailer is like seeing what you already have seen, but with the filler that connects the action.

Second, don't look any female character in the face. Sure, it's 2018, the machines own the planet and the surviving humans are left struggling for survival, but there's still somehow a surplus of bad make-up to go around.

Batman. Yes, there are ample Christian Bale "Batman" moments. Laugh about it and then move on.

Love interests. What would a Terminator movie be without it? "The Terminator" had John's friend coming back in time to pork Mom Conner. T2 had the love of a mother and child, and the black guy's family. Rise of the Machines had Junkie Conner and the young Kate finally hooking up in an underground bunker. T4 is no exception, and if anything it's more out of place. Deal with it.

Cheesy lines. Although there is no Schwarzenegger in the credits, there are a few cheesy lines. They're fan service, but somehow out of place. To this author's dismay, there was no yelling of "Get to the chopper," even though they had more than enough opportunities.

If I have one last thing to say about this movie, it won't be about the movie. It's about the marketing department. T4 should have been run something like this:

Machines firing weapons, human skulls getting crushed in tread, humans fleeing, T-600 exoskeleton standing on a hill. Zoom to the robotic skull, fade to black, run title, run "Christian Bale" name. That's it! Tease the crap out of the movie and build up the hype. The current trailers and exposure ended up ruining a lot of the movie for my friends and me as we knew how almost every action scene was going to turn out, save the last one.

I've got a message to the creators, "fire marketing"

Overall I'd say 7.8/10, solid C+ in my book, and worth seeing, just skip the trailers and you'll be set.

SNL Digital Insult

On the most recent Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg collaborate once again and provide a follow up to the infamous "Dick in a Box."

Their follow up act? Well, it seems that the guys are out of time and need a mother's day gift. They devise the plan that the best gift to give their mom, is their best friend... I.E. Swapping moms. Gross and wrong, I know, but hilariously funny.

I won't say anymore because I don't want to ruin the experience. If you haven't had the chance, check out their new SNL digital short, Mother Lover.

Mother Lover

What is your reaction to the Digital Short?

Mercenaries Are We

I was day dreaming at work today and assembling a list of old computer games that had a memorable impact on me. I was working my way down past the obvious choices: Starcraft, Diablo 1 and 2, Rage of Mages, etc. I couldn't come to a consensus of enough to make a best list, but I thought of one game in particular which made me jump in the joy of remembrance, MechWarrior 2: Mercenaries.

Mercenaries was released in the fall of 1996, and was supposedly stamped out as a cash cow sequel to Activision's then famous MechWarrior series of games. Mercenaries was not that at all.

In the plot line of MW2:M, you take the place of an inner sphere mercenary mech pilot and perform various missions from helping clan rebellions to utterly destroying them. There would also be various protect, destroy, recon, and other various mission types. A player could choose which mission best reflected their play-style, and the game plot will alter based on the player's choices. At the time, this was a relatively new concept.

The amount of individual choice and ease of customization is something not found in many games, even today. As a mech pilot you could choose between many various mech chassis and alter the weaponry, ammo, heat sinks, generators, sensors, etc. The variations are limitless, if do enough high cash missions and you handle your finances appropriately. As a mercenary, if you gained enough money from missions, you could hire other mercenaries to pilot alternate mechs that you design and customize for each engagement. As a mech group you could set up various tactics when running together, or you could send the other mercs to various nav points. Almost every action in the game was customizable and alterable to create a fun an unique experience every time.

The game play, once on a mission, is pretty similar in nature. You would either protect or destroy the targets and move to the drop ship for extraction. However, this does not detract from the fun of the game what-so-ever. How you engage each mission is up to you. While piloting the mech, you could switch from various sight modes including infrared and position a sensor map with real time telemetry. The various weapon types created a new ground for strategizing each mission. On a destroy mission, I'd stack up my heavy artillery. While on a defensive mission I'd stock up on my full auto projectile weapons and keep a gauss weapon at bay in case I ran up against any heavy resistance.

Remembering the game brought back nostalgia for a better time when games were primarily made for the gamers and not for the money. I wish Activision would hit the re-set button and publish more games with this level of customization and the game play to match.

What game(s) of yore do you fondly remember?

Home Gym Essentials

I've had this plan for a while to create my own home gym. It started about a year or two ago when I impulse bought a yoga mat and fitness ball for stretching and ab work. Since then I've bought and acquired a couple accessories including ankle weights, an Olympic bar and weights, and some adjustable dumbbells.

I was looking for my next upgrade when this weekend I spotted the Iron Gym at my local Sports Authority for around $30. A friend of mine has it already, or something like it, and I enjoyed using it, so I thought I'd give it a go.

For those of you who are not familiar with the Iron Gym, it's a pull-up bar that fits in your door frame. It can also be used to keep your feet in place while doing sit-ups and it can be placed upside downs on the ground and used for either push-ups or bar dips.

When I first opened the box there were about five parts, four screws and bolts, a tool to tighten down the bolts, and an easy to follow instruction booklet. I actually messed it up and used the large screws on the small screw bit, but the mistake was easily rectified and I assembled it correctly the second time.

I performed an entire workout with it on Saturday and I am still sore. I guess my lats were a little weak and the mass repetitions of bar dips and push-ups created a burn in my triceps, but so far no soreness there. I'm beginning to think that the Iron gym was the perfect addition to my home gym, but I still wanted more.

For most of my seated dumbbell work, I've been using a flat chair which is effective but it isn't always in the position or angle that I want it to be in. The same could be said for my lying down work which I predominantly do on my aforementioned fitness ball. The ball is great for bringing up the stabilizer muscles when doing main exercises like bench and ab work, but sometimes I need a flat surface do to more heavy lifting or specialized work. What I really needed was a good workout bench.

After my workout with the Iron Gym, I went back to Sports Authority and checked out what else they had to offer. Turns out they didn't have much, but one bench in particular caught my eye. The 7-position Folding Bench is adjustable from a slight (about 10-20 degree) decline up to about an 85 degree angle, and many angles in-between. When I purchased the adjustable bench, it was fully assembled. It did, however, come with instructions to assemble, oddly enough. The price tag was around $120 or so, but I had already signed up for the "save $25 on your next purchase over $100 promotion" (see Sports Authority website). After tax and the $25 discount, I paid somewhere around $100.

After spending a total around $130 in the last couple days, my home gym is one gigantic step closer to becoming complete. The local Bay area gyms cost anywhere from $20-100 a month and anywhere from $60-$120 in "start-up" fees. The way I see it, I just saved myself from a lot of gym fees, gas money, and wasted time while waiting for the local gym rats to finish their baby curls. Money well spent.

What are the best purchases you've made for your personal home gym?

Hell's Victor

Hell's Kitchen (U.S) Season Five is coming to a close next week when the final two chefs (of the original 16) face off in what will be an exciting and stressful match. If you're not familiar with the season thus far, the two remaining chefs are Danny and Paula.

1. Danny Veltri, 23, is an Executive Chef from Edgewater, Florida. So far he has been a front runner in the show since its beginning.
   
2. Paula Dasilva, 28, is an Executive Sous Chef from Pompano, Florida. Paula has been a frequent challenge winner and has remained strong throughout the competition.

The winner of Hell's Kitchen is awarded executive employment in the Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa in Atlantic City with a salary of $250,000. Both contenders have more than what it takes to make it.

As much as I would like to see both of them make it, there can be only one winner and I have to say that I'm rooting for Danny. He's been passed up on many challenges that should have gone his way. His constant strength through each service has been a testament of the leadership he will bring to the Borgata. Danny is one of the most talented and professional chefs that have competed in the Hell's Kitchen arena. Plus his 'afterthoughts' always make me laugh, and you can't beat that.

Go Danny!

Knee Slapping Party

I'm a pretty big fan of Japanese Animation (Anime) and I've seen a lot of titles. According to my Anime News Network account, I've seen all of 158 shows, movies, and OAVs and at least some part of 53 others. The only drawback to having seen so many titles is that finding more good and interesting titles is a bit of a scavenger hunt, only you don't know what to look for until you've found it. When I'm looking for a new title to watch/follow, I'll usually stalk the BBSs and a few high profile blogs to see what the latest buzz is about.

A few days ago, I ran across some talks about this title, "Slap Up Party: Arad Senki."

The show primarily follows a demon knight named Baron who has a curse known as a demon arm. This gives him incredible strength, but has the chance of turning him into a monster if he pushes it too hard in a fight. So far in the storyline (episode 3), he is accompanied by a party of adventurers including a lecherous gun user, a big boobed martial arts girl, and a mini mage girl.

The genre of the anime could be described as an adventure/comedy/action, and is pretty safe for all ages. The animation of the show is very well done and although the character design is a little cartoony, they are very lifelike and constantly humorous. The jokes consist mainly of gags and mostly result from the different character's interactions.

This show blends together action and humor in an interesting way that is not seen in many anime. There are plenty of "cool" moments, like when Baron uses a wind-type blast attack almost hitting a comrade. This causes the companion immediately freaks out in a comedic nature and as a result instantly sparks viewer laughter. Likewise, Slap Up Party has an interesting way of being serious at some moments and completely humorous at others. In both cases, the show is interesting enough to keep watching and there is rarely a dull moment.
The commercial break cutscenes are done chibi style (characters are drawn in a child-like manner) which is nothing new, but adds variation to the show. Although the scene is accompanied by a simple gag, it still manages to solicit some laughter. One really entertaining aspect of the show is it's ending song and credits animation. The animators took the show's concept and plot and translated it into a 8-bit graphics animation and created what looks like an old school Nintendo game. The music, although it has a voice track, is reminiscent of the synthetic track that shipped with many titles back in the day including the NES Mario and Zelda. The ending sequence brings a positive feeling of nostalgia and the song is hard to get out of one's head, though in a good way.



Check out this new show on you not-so-local Japanese television station, YouTube, or torrent site.

Super Woes

It's no secret that I have been watching a lot of Superman related media the past month or so. A friend of mine turned me on to Smallville and out of curiosity I branched out to practically all other Superman related paraphernalia including comic books, graphic novels, TV shows, movies, and shorts.

This brought me to writing this blog and what will be known as my first of many "Worst Lists."

Here are the runner ups:

Smallville

Some would argue that the show is one of the best delineations of the comic than any other moving picture representation. I would disagree. What's different in this rendition of the classic superhero? Well for starters, Smallville is now in its eighth season and still no super suit. Now, I don't really want to see a grown man in tights and a cape, but there has to be something better than putting Tom Welling in a blue shirt that is two sizes too small and an off-hue red jean jacket. Sometimes, they even mix it up and throw on a blue jean jacket instead! Horrible. What else is different?

• Lois Lane is now played by a flabby stripper who makes it her business to date virtually every other male character (save Lex) and single handedly force me to spam the mute button.
• Lana Lang in the comic book is Superman's high school sweetheart and in the movie Superman 3 she is superman's girlfriend. In Smallville, however, Ms. Lang (played by Kristin Kreuk) is actually Clark's bleeding vagina, and is the cause of much discontent. She also steals much of the show's airtime in the first 7 seasons, drawing the viewer into useless subplots that are nothing more than a ploy to engage the young female viewers. Don't even get me started on the 'She's a witch' plotline.
• Chloe Sullivan is a new character to the franchise and created solely for Smallville. The character is more of a Lois Lane then the actual show's Lois Lane and in the first 6 seasons remains a constant reminder of why some of us don't keep in touch with our high school 'friends.' In Season 7 and 8 however, she becomes a love interest for a young Jimmy Olsen.
• In the comic book Jimmy Olsen is a young photographer that teams up with Lois to get the latest scoops. In Smallville he is now played by what appears to be a middle schooler, but somehow remains to be one of the most realistic and authentic characters.
• Oliver Queen/Green Arrow is not a mainstay in the Superman series, but many will notice his credits on the JLA comic franchise. Smallville highlights a unique character that although screams homosexuality, seems to constantly fall in and out of love with the ever single/slutty Lois Lane.

The show is built on a foundation of 1/4 trendy bullshit and 3/4 teenage angst, even though the characters supposedly left high school 4 seasons (years) ago.

Superman and the Mole Men

Circa 1951, and in Black and White, Superman is transferred to the silver screen for one of the first times. The plot consists of Clark and Lois traveling to a small town (name unimportant) to write a story on the world's deepest oil well (plot unimportant). Peril hits the town (and story) as the drilling strikes a secret cavern where the Mole Men live. After many an angry town mob sequences and ugly monster rebellions ensue, Superman is forced to play monkey in the middle and saves a Mole Man before taking the brunt of a ray gun and punching out a townsman stating "it's better than you deserve."

Unlike any of its predecessors and successors, there is no comedic flair to the movie and it is acted with an almost laughable seriousness. The Mole Men, the source of much paranoia for the movie, are seen as furry monsters with bald heads and posses the ability to touch something and make it luminescent at night. OoOoOoooo.... Scary... This of course sends the town into sheer peril and sparks a riot. Classic SciFi response, right?

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman
A short-lived Broadway musical and later straight-to-TV movie, the musical follows Max Menkin... Wait, what? Who? The character doesn't exist in the comic and oddly enough is the main character to this travesty. Max is an egotistical Daily Planet reporter who's envy of Superman manifests into hatred.

The main villain of the musical is Dr. Abner Sedgwick, a nothing new/interesting character that takes the place of the Lex Luther persona... Rumors are that the creators of the musical didn't want to pay DC for the rights to use the Lex Luther character... and rightly so, on Broadway, the musical was a complete bust.

In what is supposed to be a comedic approach to the role of Superman, it is hardly about Superman at all. The only comedic responses derived from this are how bad the music, script, and acting are.

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
What do you get when combine bad writing with bad acting? This show.

Dean Cain's "Slater" (see Saved by the Bell) version of Superman includes all the pitfalls and woes of the Superman Franchise: A gay man in pastels. From his high pitched voice to his awkward cod piece, Cain creates a unique rendition that is better watched with eyes and ears covered.

Lex Luther is no longer bald, instead supporting an ugly shock of dirty brown/red hair. His almost lewd fixation with Alexander the Great is still in full swing and as a bonus he gets a trained falcon sidekick that kills pigeons.

Teri Hatcher, as Lois Lane, reminds me more of a cousin then a love interest for Clark Kent, which doesn't hinder their marriage plans... Her physical "hotness," however, is the only redeeming side of the show, and is in fact the only positive trait that comes to mind.

That being said...

There are so many choices, but like the hit movie Highlander, there can be only one.

And the Winner (loser) is....

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman

Who doesn't want to see Superman sing while battling generic Chinese acrobats (played by Caucasians) and lying on the couch for a psychiatry session? At least the others were mildly entertaining.

Two words: Epic Failure.

Are we having fun yet!

Party Down is a TV show that premiered this March on Starz.

According to the Starz website synopsis, "Party Down is about a group of struggling dreamers who are stuck working for tips while waiting for their big break. As employees of the L.A. catering company “Party Down,” these misfits mingle with guests at everything from sweet sixteen parties to the most lavish Hollywood soirees." That sounds about right, if you replace "mingle" with "meddle" and "soirees" with "disasters."

The show follows the ragtag group of washed-up and never-was actors as they work parties that often end in complete disaster. Their fearless leader, Mr. Ron Donald, is beyond clueless but never loses sight of his dream to open his own restaurant, 'Soup Or Crackers' (ultra cheesy pun here "Super Crackers"). Each episode highlights a cameo appearance from an otherwise out of work and real-life actor, which only adds to the absurdity. The cameos are not enough to spark a divine interest in the show, but it definitely brings me back for more. The subject matter is almost always mature with an abundance of swearing, adult situations, and at times nudity (female and male). This show is definitely not for kids.


One particular highlight to the show is its characters. Every interaction between the creepy nerd writer, Roman Debeers, and the trendy emo asshole, Kyle Bradway, yields a ridiculous clash of the titans and a lot of laughter. My favorite character has to be the washed-up beer commercial actor, Henry Pollard, who generally plays the straight man and usually gets swept up in the commotion. Other highlights include the charmingly confused Constance Carmell, and the negativist siren Casey Klein.

The actors portraying the characters are not only believable, but also highly engaging. The troupe combines for a group effort not shared in many comedies (with exception to Arrested Development). Adam Scott and Ken Marino, arguably the lead actors do an amazing job of subtly propelling their characters to the foreground of each scene and all eyes are on them, even when you want to look away (if you've seen the adult after party episode you'll know what I mean). Jane Lynch pulls the audience in with her dramatic flair and delivers every line perfectly while Ryan Hansen, Martin Starr, and Lizzy Caplan raise the bar with solid performances.

The show itself has a similar feel to Curb Your Enthusiasm in that it is slow paced and its humor is methodical. Its characters are much like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, utterly clueless, yet somehow functional. While it shares many traits with other shows, Party Down breaks the mold and creates a unique comedic experience that has me laughing hysterically. I can't wait to see more of this show.

You can catch up on past episodes from its first season on the Starz website: Party Down on Starz